Toilet Seat

I can think of only a few things less desirable than a toilet seat. I see dirty ones nearly everywhere I go. I am amazed at the number of men in this world who must have the runs. This is evidenced by the condition of the toilet seats in restaurants, hardware stores, gas stations and malls. I have to be really desperate before I will sit on one of those. Splattered and smelly. Ufda!

And speaking of toilets, what is it that the host or hostess of a restaurant takes so much pride in seating me right next to the toilet and the kitchen. Sounds and smells coming from both of which I do not like. They march me right back between the toilet and the kitchen as though that is the prized place to be. Do I look like I am ravenously hungry, or do I just look like I am full of it.... and will be needing the can soon?

So I always decline to be seated there and ask for another table. So I am wondering why they don't offer that table to the next party that comes in, but they offer it to me every time. Maybe it is because they always offer me some form of spinach and they figure that I can't tell the difference in smell between spinach and sewage, which by the way, are the same thing.